Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual Read online

  Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual

  PART ONE:

  THE TRAINING PROGRAM

  In which we examine the specifics of training an erotic slave.

  Attitude

  "While the actual training of a slave encompasses the total person, the sine qua non of a service-oriented submissive is the correct attitude. Different roles may dictate different training techniques, but all slaves - and dominants, too, for that matter - should cultivate an attitude of mindfulness.

  For our purposes, mindfulness may be defined as an over arching awareness of ones person, surroundings, and circumstances. It is a gentle attention, focused but not forced. Many spiritual traditions recommend sitting, chanting, or other forms of meditation to awaken a mindful state. For the slave, it is dharma yoga, the pursuit of ones true vocation, that is the path to mindfulness. A slaves mindfulness should encompass her physical body; her mental awareness, her emotional state and, insofur as it is possible, the physical, mental and emotional state of the dominant and any other person in the environment. This is not to say that a slave must be clairvoyant or an empath; she must first cultivate self-awareness, and under tutelage, awareness of the dominant's needs and wishes. Experienced slaves do often develop a sort of sixth sense, the ability to anticipate the dominant's needs before he verbalizes them.

  The Interview

  How can a dominant determine the best sort of training for a would-be slave? Before being accepted for formal training, a submissive should be interviewed by the prospective owner. The interview is an opportunity for both parties to learn something about the others expectations and needs, to ask questions, express concerns, and generally familiarize themselves with the workings of the other's mind. The submissive may have questions about the dominant's style of training and interests, and the prospective owner should take care to answer these as honestly and directly as possible, to avoid any misunderstandings or unwitting deceptions. The dominant should be aware that submissives are often hesitant to ask direct questions and often must be prompted to do so. If the dominant maintains an attentive but relaxed demeanor, he will help put the submissive at ease.

  To determine a submissive's suitability for training, it is vital that the dominant have extensive information about the person. Such information includes, but is hardly limited to, the following:

  • the slave's full legal name and address

  • all existing medical conditions and a general medical history

  • any required medications and their whereabouts (it is wise to lay in a supply of them at the dominant's home or wherever the training will take place)

  • emergency contacts and limitations to same, such as doctors, family members or friends, and therapists, and how much or how little personal information may be revealed to them in the event of an emergency

  • any psychological limitations to play; such as abuse or incest history Other information may include fantasies, sexual history; attitudes about submission, desires and preferences, and any interesting details a dominant may uncover during the interview. It is appropriate to take notes and keep a written record of the proceedings, but the dominant should encourage the submissive to speak freely; as one may learn as much if not more about a person by listening as by watching. Be alert for physical and verbal signs of ambivalence or hesitation, {ear, or apprehension - pausing, blushing, hedging, or squirming. These are not necessarily indications that the submissive is unsuited for service, but they provide excellent opportunities for the dominant to explore areas that the submissive is not consciously aware of, or is ashamed o£ It is remarkable how little attention people pay to their own speech, particularly when they are excited and nervous. By listening carefully to a submissive during the interview, the dominant can later create the illusion of being a mindreader or of having "secret" information about the slave.

  A series of interviews should be conducted before any arrangement is made or contract signed, and at regular intervals thereafter. For an ongoing contract, once a month is reasonable. Both parties should be given ample opportunity to gain the necessary information to make an informed decision about the training. The results of these interviews should be kept in a file in a locked box, along with a copy of the contract and any personal documents relating to the slave. A contract should include a clause specifying whether this file will be turned over to the submissive in the event that the relationship ends, whether the dominant may keep a copy of some or all of the information, and to what extent such information may be shared with others (when negotiating to bring another dominant into the scene, for example).

  It is appropriate for the dominant to request from experienced submissives a sort of resume of service previously provided or at least a list of references. Likewise, submissives should be provided upon request with the names of those who can vouch for the dominant's credibility.

  The dominant may also require other documentation from the submissive, such as letters of petition, fictional narratives of the submissive's fantasies, journal entries (see below), or verification of the submissive's qualifications for specific forms of service, such as a valid driver's license and clean driving record from a prospective chauffeur.

  It should be understood that such preliminary interviews, while expressive of a mutual interest in training, do not imply any obligation on the part of the dominant to take on the submissive, nor on the part of the submissive to accept any training program offered.

  The Slave Journal

  Slaves-in-training should be encouraged to keep a written record of their thoughts, fantasies, and experiences. The journal is usually the property of the submissive but is meant to be read by the dominant. Thus, the dominant may require that the slave address the journal directly to her and that special written forms be followed.

  For example, it is common for slaves to use the lower case when referring to themselves and to capitalize all references to the dominant: "Mistress, i am writing this journal as You requested. i hope it meets with Your approval." Or, they may be required to omit the first person pronoun altogether: "this slave is writing a journal as You requested." Some dominants find the use of the possessive in reference to themselves highly offensive, as the Mistress does not belong to the slave.

  They feel it is more appropriate for a slave to speak of "the Mistress" than of "my Mistress." Holding to this pattern can result in some interesting linguistic difficulties, but greatly encourages mindfulness. It is to be used at the dominant's discretion. Entries should be made in the journal on a regular basis (anywhere from once a day to once a week has proved useful). The dominant may wish to respond, verbally or in written form, to the entries.

  Other Written Training Assignments

  In addition to the slave journal, the dominant may assign essays on specific topics of interest, such as the history of erotic servitude or tea service. Book reports on BDSM classics have proved edifying (see appendix A for a selective reading list). The dominant may uncover a hidden talent for verbal expression - a useful and attractive attribute in a slave - that he may want to further encourage. At very least, he will have better insight into the submissive's thoughts and frame of mind.

  Physical Preparation

  Slaves should be encouraged to care for their bodies so that they will be better able to serve the dominant and so that such service will be more pleasing. Many dominants require that their slaves shave off their body hair, either just the pubic hair, or all of it. The feeling of nakedness and vulnerability this simple change can produce should not be underestimated. Men often find shaving their body hair humiliating, particularly if they associate
shaving with women or femininity.

  Reactions like these provide an excellent opportunity to uncover unexamined prejudices that the slave may carry. Prejudices are an unnecessary burden that is best laid aside as quickly as possible.

  The slave will need his strength for other, more pressing matters.

  The dominant may also require that the slave give herself a cleansing enema or douche as a preparation for service, or the dominant may wish to administer the enema herself. In either case, make sure that the enema is administered properly; with no additives, warm but not hot water, and low water pressure. Commercial preparations can be used in a pinch, but water is most effective and is unlikely to cause unpleasant reactions. (Some individuals add a small amount of salt to help prevent undue fluid absorption.) Soaps and any form of alcohol should be avoided. The nozzle should be well lubricated with KY Jelly or some other preparation and should be inserted slowly and carefully; as the rectum is quite sensitive. Begin with a small amount of water (a pint or so). Over time, the slave will be able to hold more, although for practical cleanliness, no more than a quart is necessary. The “gallons and gallons" of water referred to in some pornographic literature should remain in the realm of fantasy.

  If the slave suffers from hemorrhoids or rectal bleeding. or if these conditions develop at any point during training. she should inform the dominant, who must take great care not to aggravate the condition by requiring too-frequent cleansings. These common conditions can be easily treated by a health care professional.

  The slave may also arrange her hair according to the dominant's wishes, use cosmetics (rouging the nipples and vulva, for example), trim or grow her nails, and so on. In all cases, such modifications should be undertaken, not out of vanity; but with the awareness of the dominant's wishes in mind.

  Control of the Body

  Some dominants take great pleasure in controlling the bodily functions of the slave. As long as such control does no damage to the slaves health, it is acceptable. Sade wrote a notorious passage in which he describes the ideal diet for a slave of a coprophiliac: stewed chicken and rice. While Miss Abernathy does not condone the ingestion of feces, for reasons of hygiene and health, the concept of such intense bodily control is not unpleasant.

  It is a sad fact that many submissives, so adept at caring for others, neglect their own well-being. Part of a dominant's task in training such a person is to instill good habits in matters of food, sleep, and exercise, and not to encourage self-destruction. If the dominant notices that the slave is remiss in matters of self-care, she should take steps to remedy the situation. This can be accomplished from within the scene. For example, the dominant may wish to reward the slave for taking care of herself by allowing her to eat the same food as he does, perhaps leaving a little on his plate for the slave to enjoy. (Of course she may be required to eat it without utensils while crouching on the floor.)

  The dominant may also control the submissives sleep, speech, and excretory functions, but great care should be taken not to exhaust the slave or endanger his health with such games.

  The question of sexual abstinence for submissives frequently arises. Assuming that the slave has turned this right over to the dominant during negotiation, I believe that a dominant may act with impunity in restricting a slave's sexual pleasure. A state of sexual hunger drives slaves to better performance, and the promise of release is a powerful stimulant. If the dominant finds that the slave is unable to resist the temptation to masturbate, he may want to invest in one of the fine chastity belts or "cock cages" now available.

  I am aware of no concrete evidence that sexual abstinence causes any problem other than frustration. Remind the slave that his sexual desire, like all else, is your property and should be dedicated to your pleasure, not the slave's.

  Forms of Address

  In their speech, as in all else, slaves will find an opportunity to express their respect for the dominant. Most dominants will specify a default form of address, such as "Master" or "Mistress,"

  "Sir'" or "Madam." While in service, the slave should always use this honorific when addressing the dominant. If no default form is specified the dominant should specify a form at the beginning of a training session, perhaps during the collaring ritual. He may say, "From this point on, you will address me as 'Master'." He should expect the slave to reply, "Yes, Master." If such an acknowledgment is not forthcoming, he may prompt the slave. Dominants should be vigilant with forms of address; the slave should use it every time she addresses the dominant. Omissions should be noted and corrected. Nothing is more disappointing to a submissive than an inattentive dominant.

  If a slave has become adept at one form of address, the dominant can up the ante by requiring a more complex form, such as the repetition of the honorific at the beginning and end of an utterance

  "Master, may I please worship your boots now; Master?"

  Honorifics can be simple or complex. They may or may not include a name. For example, a slave who is serving two masters, one to whom she is contracted and one who is only visiting the household, may address "her" master simply as "Master" and the other dominant by the honorific and his given name: "Master Jack."

  An additional note on names is in order. Some dominants, especially professionals, use a

  "scene name" instead of or in addition to their legal or street name. Likewise, some submissives entering the community choose a scene name, and dominants may occasionally give their submissives "slave names.” Individuals have different preferences regarding the use of scene names. I once heard a professional dominant at an S/M community function say, Oh, please, call me

  [her given name]! We are all friends here; this is no dungeon." Other professionals prefer to keep their given names private, for legal and personal reasons. "When in doubt, ask. No one will fault you, and you will avoid awkward misunderstandings.

  Positioning the Body

  One of the most obvious ways that a slave can express his submission is through his body. A slave should strive to be graceful and unobtrusive at all times. Just as he should keep his mind focused on the task at hand, so he should eliminate unnecessary gestures.

  The dominant should instruct the slave to assume a default posture when at rest. . The most common postures are kneeling and standing. To assume the kneeling posture, the slave should fold his legs neatly beneath him. The knees may be held together or spread apart, according to the dominant's wishes. Hands may rest palm up or down on the thighs, may be clasped lightly at the small of the back, or the fingers may be laced behind the neck. The head should be inclined forward, the eyes cast down. Be aware that most Westerners are not accustomed to long periods of kneeling, so this posture may cause some discomfort. Slaves with existing knee problems should, of course, be given another posture to assume.

  In the standing posture, for example, the slave stands erect with feet together or slightly apart.

  Hands are again clasped lightly behind the back, either at the base of the spine or at the waist, or they are left hanging loosely and gracefully at the sides. If the arms are at the sides, the slave should take care not to ball his hands into fists, but to let his open hand show his willingness to serve.

  Again, the head should be inclined and the eyes down. (In some exceptional cases, such as military training, the eyes may be kept up and forward.)

  The slave should practice these postures under the direction of the dominant Until he can execute them perfectly. He may then be shown "his" spot, the default location where he should assume the "at rest" posture when a task has been completed and he is awaiting ,further instruction.

  In addition to the "at fest" posture, the slave should be made aware of any physical restrictions placed on him. Is he allowed to sit on the furniture? May he use Utensils to eat? May he walk from place to place, or should he crawl? When, if ever, is it permissible to look the dominant in the eye?

  The dominant must reflect upon these details and inform the slave accordingly. Whatever the d
ominant's decision, she must be consistent. Unless her intent is to confuse and frustrate the slave, the dominant should stick to her own instructions when correcting a slave.

  Many novice submissives find it difficult to hold still for any length of time. Often this has nothing to do with physical problems, but indicates a lack of awareness of the body. Jiggling legs, tapping fingers, nervous coughs, and wandering eyes are to be discouraged. Instruct the submissive to focus his attention on his breathing and make a slow mental sweep along the full length of the body; taking note of any points of tension and relieving them. The submissive should also be instructed in basic stretches and encouraged to perform them regularly. This discipline will greatly increase a slaves capacity for maintaining postures.

  Again, vigilance is paramount. Submissives expect correction, and are often crushed when the dominant fails to notice an error. Such sloppiness undermines their confidence in the dominant and makes them question the sincerity of the dominant's commitment to them. The dominant's actions should always reinforce the slaves submission.

  Voice Commands and Postures

  A slave should learn to respond immediately to verbal commands. Some commands are so frequent and simple that a word or two should elicit the desired effect. We have already covered the first two postures, kneeling and standing. Several more useful postures follow.

  "Come Here"

  The dominant uses this command when ordering the slave to approach. The slave is expected to take the most direct route possible without disturbing any other people who may be in the area. She should either walk swiftly and gracefully to where the dominant is, or she should drop to her hands and knees and crawl there. Often the circumstances will dictate which method is appropriate. In a non-kinky setting, crawling will only cause scandal; likewise, a gravel path will damage the slaves knees or rip her clothing. When the slave reaches the dominant, she should stop within arm's reach and assume the "at rest" posture while waiting for further instruction.